Trivia and Tidbits

SHE DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING!
She was a treasure of a wife who brought her money home ...From the New York Recorder - 1895

 "So you were out shopping, eh?" gasped Mr. Newwed at dinner last evening, in the cozy new home on Columbus Avenue.

 "Yes, dear, and I want to tell you all about it."

 "I - I gave you $50. I believe," he murmured, swallowing a double allowance of cafe noit.

 "You did, Charlie, and that's just it. I started for the shopping district at 3 o'clock, and have been trotting up and down ever since. You have no idea how much we women have to contend with."
 "Humph! Tell me about the bargains."

 "There was a half-rate sale in one place; the loveliest goods you ever saw. So cheap, too. Then there was a 'knock out' counter in another store, where they were fairly giving things away. I never saw such bargains! Then there was a fire-and-water sale across the way, and the way things went was astounding. Then there was a 'clearing-out' sale in the next block. And a 'bankrupt sale' near by. And a 'marked-down list' only a block away. And a 'half-off' sale over on -- "

 "Great jumping Caesar's ghost!"

 "Yes, and I attended them all. Oh, such astonishing bargains!"

 "And I suppose that now I'll have to announce a 'half-rate' sale on my personal effects, and a 'knock-out' sale on my salary, and a 'closing-out' sale on my bank book, and a 'cast-off' sale with my uncle, and a 'gone-to-grass' sale on the kitchen fixtures -- just to equalize the pressure, eh?"

 "Charlie, you ungrateful wretch. I was about to say that I considered myself a jewel! After all the careful teachings of mamma, just as if I couldn't save your money, and --"

 "Well, they all say that."

 "I-I didn't buy a thing. Here's your $50 bill."

 "What's that?"

 "That's what I said!"

 "My angel," he gasped, dropping his fork, "forgive me, I have wronged you!"

 "I didn't use your money but I ordered a wagon-load of nice things and had them charged. So there!"